i am sad

i have been melancholy all weekend, and i dont know why. i've been trying to figure it out and trying to listen to my happy music, but i keep wanting to listen to the less than happy side of my playlist. i am currently unable to write my essay, so severe is my state of gloom. oh well. i'll try running it off tomorrow and see how it goes.

i am also sad because this is the first year for as long as i can remember that i didn't get a new easter outfit. i think im not so sad about the lack of new clothes so much as i am about the lack of home (mommy buys me the outfit every year). no worries though. i bought my train ticket for home today. i can practically see short hills now ^. ^ i feel better already. puhahaha

sometimes, i wish i wasnt running this marathon. the training is taking an incredible toll on my body. i have several stress injuries, my knees and lower back are constant painful reminders of my workouts, and i find myself exhausted beyond reason much too often. i will go through with the marathon this year since i've come this far, but i doubt i'll do it next year...maybe, my senior year, but definitely not next year.